Deadpool (2016)
Directed by: Tim Miller (sexy thing)
Starring: Ryan Reynolds (dayum!), Karan Soni (Indian gets second credit!), Ed Skrein (Jarvis's A.I. sibling), Morena Baccarin (Wham!), T.J. Miller (stay away from my avocado collection), Brianna Hildebrand (Ripley), Leslie Uggams (Mrs. Magoo)
Disclaimer: The following review contains no references to hard-ons, breasts (unless they're Ryan Reynolds's) and gratuitous pillow talk, but may occasionally break the fourth wall of your butt cheeks.
2016 is the year of the Superhero movie (sorry people of China, but I don't care about Year-of-the-cockroach, or whatever) and Deadpool has taken his silver-tinted balls and planted a big C4 of Sex(check), violence (check), inappropriate jokes (check) and Ryan Reynolds; a man at this moment in time I would gladly became gay for and act as his full-time rent boy (where he keeps all of my earnings and I get to eat scraps of food he leaves on the floor). Even more remarkable is the now famous 'leaked' test footage that Reynolds claims 70% sure he wasn't behind (speaking of behinds, Mr Reynolds needs to release a Buns of Steel workout DVD, phew! I mean, have you seen it?! That manly peach needs to be immortalised on the Sistine Chapel). Whatever/whoever released all that goodness online needs to receive a medal. Deadpool is not only one of the most refreshing takes on the comic book genre, it also proves an R-rated superhero movie can exceed the confinements which a PG-13 can't offer to it's constantly snared telenovela players. Thank God for Netflix and its mature output of Jessica Jones and Daredevil; compared to the throwaway fluff that is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. which I do watch but may drop as I can spend my time catching-up on all that prime cable output. But going back to Pool, we finally have a movie which doesn't insult the fanbase and maybe now, the studio execs will finally smell the Starbucks and give us more in the way of grown-up CBMs.
The endlessly gorgeous Ryan Reynolds (a deep sigh) plays Wade Wilson, known by his moniker of the Merc with the Mouth; an ex-Special Forces badass who now spends his free time in being a reluctant neighbourhood hero and swizzling shots with Weasel (a very funny T.J. Miller). His meeting with Vanessa (the always excellent Baccarin) delivers one of the best chat-up lines:"What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?" - is why Reynolds is funnier than Kevin Hart. It's that once-in-a-lifetime meeting, fueled with the kind of sexual chemistry Sharon Stone had with that Baldwin brother (sorry, wrong movie). She's the yin to his yang, which is soon followed by one of the funniest sex montages I've had the pleasure of witnessing (there's a priceless reaction from Reynolds which is soon to become a meme/GIPHY favourite). But cancer strikes and turns that relationship into a huge puddle of horse piss. Word gets around about his fate where he is approached by the Recruiter with a plan to cure his ills.
Enough about the plot, onto why this essential Valentine's Day rom-com is a cut above the rest. Ed Skrein is a blast as Francis/Ajax and reminds me of Paul Bettany (an in-joke I'm not aware of?) He takes to villain duties without a care in the world and more importantly, is a worthy opponent for Wilson. If you cast a glance at Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man and Iron-Man 2, they all have badly-written foes who appear to have been Floyd Mayweather's leftovers! At least with Ajax, you can see his motivations from the start and shouldn't be a surprise how he turns out. Because of budget constraints, I felt more time had to be dramatically acknowledged and that's a good thing here.
Remember Bryan Singer's blink-it-and-miss shit with Colossus in X2? I'm still trying to erase that awful memory. Finally the Chrome Dome we deserve and he is fricking awesome. It did jar me that a nerd in the screening I attended complained about the bad Russian accent (it's not by the way) when he is voiced by Stefan kapicic (fluent in Russian!) What that whiny bitch-turd of a nerd should be thankful for is that we have the Colossus I have always wanted, no half-measures but the full glass. And then there's that little skinhead firecracker who just happens to call herself Negasonic Teenage Warhead (my Xbox Live gamertag without teenage, in case you might be interested to know) and played with such likability from Hildebrand. She hasn't got a lot of screentime but we all know that sequel is gonna happen, right? Let's see some more development with her.
Some of you will be aware of T.J. Miller's work from Silicon Valley and it's good to see his comedic talents are put to great use; still loving that avocado sex joke dude. There's such a warm, fuzzy feeling when he's acting with Reynolds that you can almost imagine them being spooning buddies. On a quick note, whilst Gina Carano isn't known for her acting abilities, she's rather nice eye candy and puts in a B+ effort as Angel Dust. Leslie Uggams on the other hand is a hoot as Blind Al and want to see more of her in the sequel. A special mention to Soni who plays Dopinder, the taxi driver; his rapport with Pool is both delightful and hilarious. More Dopinder, please!
Now that I've done tugging on Reynolds and Tim Miller's members, here's why Deadpool has raised the bar (this high!) on the superhero Richter scale: Its savvy red/green band trailer campaign, the 12 Days of Deadpool and that hilarious billboard where Wade/Vanessa are sharing their Nicholas Sparks moment is inspired marketing. Even more important to realise is that none of the trailers spoiled anything and showed a mere fraction from a movie that lasts 1h 48min. Whilst you can easily say that Marvel/Disney often present a sanitised version of events with a predicable scenario, Deadpool (under 20th Century Fox who own the X-Men franchise) offers their take, which plays out like the ending of Uncharted 3 (but as a lover of all things Nathan Drake and Nolan North who voices Mr. Pool in that underrated classic video game) I am perfectly fine with that; ecstatic even. But again, the film's mature rating allows for more to happen. Now, whilst I don't usually sing the praises of rap music, the addition of DMX's 'X Gon' Give To Ya' and Salt-N-Pepa's 'Shoop' are soon finding their way to my NANO. Oh, and there are some tunes that will give James Gunn's mixtape a run for his money when Guardians 2 commences. The opening credits alone are the best and most imaginative I've seen in a long time, but I will zip it.
I was nervous about watching Deadpool, but my honest reaction is this: It has elevated my expectations and isn't a series of dick and butt jokes; it has humanity and Reynolds is unafraid to embrace some femininity into what could have been another template hero. The action is a mixture of cartoon violence and real kickass bravado, no quick-cuts that you'd find in a Bourne movie for instance. Now, my final point isn't supposed to be a fangirl debate about Marvel vs DC, but walking away from Deadpool, I said to a few people that my anticipation for Batman v Superman has waned (Wayned? Haha) a little. Warner Bros shot a blank with that ill-advised "I thought she was with you" moment and to me that was showing a little panic; that we the cinema-going-comic-book-loving crowd are just dumbasses and needed spoon-feeding. I didn't ask to be fed and while that film's official running time hasn't been confirmed (a rumoured 2h 30m version by a German theatre no less) how will Zack Snyder fill that void in a production whose budget is a lot more than Deadpool's modest $50 million (from what I've heard). Deadpool's biggest triumph is that it delivered and not surprised it earned an encore and two trailer replays at Comic Con 2015. Sure, BvS will make more money but does that mean it will be critically well-received? Three years later and we'll soon find out. And I say, no excuses....
A penetrative-rating of 10/10 (and not for kids!)
Directed by: Tim Miller (sexy thing)
Starring: Ryan Reynolds (dayum!), Karan Soni (Indian gets second credit!), Ed Skrein (Jarvis's A.I. sibling), Morena Baccarin (Wham!), T.J. Miller (stay away from my avocado collection), Brianna Hildebrand (Ripley), Leslie Uggams (Mrs. Magoo)
Disclaimer: The following review contains no references to hard-ons, breasts (unless they're Ryan Reynolds's) and gratuitous pillow talk, but may occasionally break the fourth wall of your butt cheeks.
2016 is the year of the Superhero movie (sorry people of China, but I don't care about Year-of-the-cockroach, or whatever) and Deadpool has taken his silver-tinted balls and planted a big C4 of Sex(check), violence (check), inappropriate jokes (check) and Ryan Reynolds; a man at this moment in time I would gladly became gay for and act as his full-time rent boy (where he keeps all of my earnings and I get to eat scraps of food he leaves on the floor). Even more remarkable is the now famous 'leaked' test footage that Reynolds claims 70% sure he wasn't behind (speaking of behinds, Mr Reynolds needs to release a Buns of Steel workout DVD, phew! I mean, have you seen it?! That manly peach needs to be immortalised on the Sistine Chapel). Whatever/whoever released all that goodness online needs to receive a medal. Deadpool is not only one of the most refreshing takes on the comic book genre, it also proves an R-rated superhero movie can exceed the confinements which a PG-13 can't offer to it's constantly snared telenovela players. Thank God for Netflix and its mature output of Jessica Jones and Daredevil; compared to the throwaway fluff that is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. which I do watch but may drop as I can spend my time catching-up on all that prime cable output. But going back to Pool, we finally have a movie which doesn't insult the fanbase and maybe now, the studio execs will finally smell the Starbucks and give us more in the way of grown-up CBMs.
The endlessly gorgeous Ryan Reynolds (a deep sigh) plays Wade Wilson, known by his moniker of the Merc with the Mouth; an ex-Special Forces badass who now spends his free time in being a reluctant neighbourhood hero and swizzling shots with Weasel (a very funny T.J. Miller). His meeting with Vanessa (the always excellent Baccarin) delivers one of the best chat-up lines:"What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?" - is why Reynolds is funnier than Kevin Hart. It's that once-in-a-lifetime meeting, fueled with the kind of sexual chemistry Sharon Stone had with that Baldwin brother (sorry, wrong movie). She's the yin to his yang, which is soon followed by one of the funniest sex montages I've had the pleasure of witnessing (there's a priceless reaction from Reynolds which is soon to become a meme/GIPHY favourite). But cancer strikes and turns that relationship into a huge puddle of horse piss. Word gets around about his fate where he is approached by the Recruiter with a plan to cure his ills.
Enough about the plot, onto why this essential Valentine's Day rom-com is a cut above the rest. Ed Skrein is a blast as Francis/Ajax and reminds me of Paul Bettany (an in-joke I'm not aware of?) He takes to villain duties without a care in the world and more importantly, is a worthy opponent for Wilson. If you cast a glance at Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man and Iron-Man 2, they all have badly-written foes who appear to have been Floyd Mayweather's leftovers! At least with Ajax, you can see his motivations from the start and shouldn't be a surprise how he turns out. Because of budget constraints, I felt more time had to be dramatically acknowledged and that's a good thing here.
Remember Bryan Singer's blink-it-and-miss shit with Colossus in X2? I'm still trying to erase that awful memory. Finally the Chrome Dome we deserve and he is fricking awesome. It did jar me that a nerd in the screening I attended complained about the bad Russian accent (it's not by the way) when he is voiced by Stefan kapicic (fluent in Russian!) What that whiny bitch-turd of a nerd should be thankful for is that we have the Colossus I have always wanted, no half-measures but the full glass. And then there's that little skinhead firecracker who just happens to call herself Negasonic Teenage Warhead (my Xbox Live gamertag without teenage, in case you might be interested to know) and played with such likability from Hildebrand. She hasn't got a lot of screentime but we all know that sequel is gonna happen, right? Let's see some more development with her.
Some of you will be aware of T.J. Miller's work from Silicon Valley and it's good to see his comedic talents are put to great use; still loving that avocado sex joke dude. There's such a warm, fuzzy feeling when he's acting with Reynolds that you can almost imagine them being spooning buddies. On a quick note, whilst Gina Carano isn't known for her acting abilities, she's rather nice eye candy and puts in a B+ effort as Angel Dust. Leslie Uggams on the other hand is a hoot as Blind Al and want to see more of her in the sequel. A special mention to Soni who plays Dopinder, the taxi driver; his rapport with Pool is both delightful and hilarious. More Dopinder, please!
Now that I've done tugging on Reynolds and Tim Miller's members, here's why Deadpool has raised the bar (this high!) on the superhero Richter scale: Its savvy red/green band trailer campaign, the 12 Days of Deadpool and that hilarious billboard where Wade/Vanessa are sharing their Nicholas Sparks moment is inspired marketing. Even more important to realise is that none of the trailers spoiled anything and showed a mere fraction from a movie that lasts 1h 48min. Whilst you can easily say that Marvel/Disney often present a sanitised version of events with a predicable scenario, Deadpool (under 20th Century Fox who own the X-Men franchise) offers their take, which plays out like the ending of Uncharted 3 (but as a lover of all things Nathan Drake and Nolan North who voices Mr. Pool in that underrated classic video game) I am perfectly fine with that; ecstatic even. But again, the film's mature rating allows for more to happen. Now, whilst I don't usually sing the praises of rap music, the addition of DMX's 'X Gon' Give To Ya' and Salt-N-Pepa's 'Shoop' are soon finding their way to my NANO. Oh, and there are some tunes that will give James Gunn's mixtape a run for his money when Guardians 2 commences. The opening credits alone are the best and most imaginative I've seen in a long time, but I will zip it.
I was nervous about watching Deadpool, but my honest reaction is this: It has elevated my expectations and isn't a series of dick and butt jokes; it has humanity and Reynolds is unafraid to embrace some femininity into what could have been another template hero. The action is a mixture of cartoon violence and real kickass bravado, no quick-cuts that you'd find in a Bourne movie for instance. Now, my final point isn't supposed to be a fangirl debate about Marvel vs DC, but walking away from Deadpool, I said to a few people that my anticipation for Batman v Superman has waned (Wayned? Haha) a little. Warner Bros shot a blank with that ill-advised "I thought she was with you" moment and to me that was showing a little panic; that we the cinema-going-comic-book-loving crowd are just dumbasses and needed spoon-feeding. I didn't ask to be fed and while that film's official running time hasn't been confirmed (a rumoured 2h 30m version by a German theatre no less) how will Zack Snyder fill that void in a production whose budget is a lot more than Deadpool's modest $50 million (from what I've heard). Deadpool's biggest triumph is that it delivered and not surprised it earned an encore and two trailer replays at Comic Con 2015. Sure, BvS will make more money but does that mean it will be critically well-received? Three years later and we'll soon find out. And I say, no excuses....
A penetrative-rating of 10/10 (and not for kids!)
